Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
