too bad you live with your parents still
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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