So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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