i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
