he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
