we're blogging at a bar
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
