My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
