and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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