Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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