you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
