Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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