i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
false alarm. still invincible.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
