I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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