Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Someone signed my nipple.
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