you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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