my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
