i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Boobs speak an international language.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
