We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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