grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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