If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
