i already hear my dad disowning me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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