Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
