Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
