He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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