dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
