Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Randomize
