All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
