I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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