just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
