Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What happened to fro yo and sex?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
