He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Nicole vs. Life
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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