Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
