I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
