Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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