i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
