you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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