Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
