Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
