from now on my penis is your penis
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
