Little spoons don't ask big questions
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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