You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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