Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
