Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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