Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I need moral support for this bender
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
