I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
