the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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