so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
if only i could text you this smell
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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