You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
