I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
