Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize