i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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