Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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