Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
