U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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