can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
