Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
