I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
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