pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
