all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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