Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
