It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
