Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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