at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
