Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
