he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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