woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize