Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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