If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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