i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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