guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
