Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
