so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When did angry sex become our thing?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
